The Day The Red Rose Melted

There once was a Red Rose.

Her name was Zert-kinkle. She was a kind Rose, fond to The Sun and The Stars.

Zert-kinkle was rather boorish in demeanour.

She hailed from the Hills of Hallzinker-Honkzeen, and as any soul who has hurdled over the hardened highways of said highlands knows, its inhabitants are nothing but hard-handed, and everything but handy.

If there was anything that Zert Kinkle the Red Rose knew, it was that she loved to dance. She would dance through the hills, praising the name of the plants around her. She would cry

"Vos horum omnis pinguesco!"

She believed that she was doing the other plants an honor by saying that they were all very buttery, but really, she was calling out at the top of her voice

"You are all fat!"

A most grievous mistake for the Rough Rugged Red Rose.

The Sun, the purple sun, and The Stars, the green stars, looked down with displeasure.

"Oy oy, that stinkin' Zert-kinkle, shootin' her bloot-ey latin insults all over the place again. You's knows I loves 'er, but where's tha line crossed eh? That silley rose betta shoot 'er fat mooth or we's be shooting 'er to bits, wat ya say lads?"

"Oy, oy. Fry 'er!"

"Vos horum omnis pinguesco!" She cried!

"You's knows whats'a do boys!"

"Beams-me oop Scootty! Har-ha-har!"

"Yous betcha matey!"

With that The Sun and The Stars took our their laser guns from the planet Okoopuka and melted the poor rose Zert-kinkle into the ground.

That is the tale of The Day The Red Rose Melted.